Archive for March, 2010

…But home is nowhere

March 14th, 2010 | Category: Uncategorized


I write to you from a special place in a piece of fiction. This is ten years away from the date that you will be reading this and the ideas that are imprinted in this awkward flow of words are the truth (which, as you might suspect, is never hidden but rarely found). This is the telling of a story from the Time that Never Existed, and as such, you should approach it with caution. In that context, let us begin.

Many years back, I awakened in the middle of a ruined hospital bed inside a wild and beautiful garden. Back then, I barely had a mind to convince myself to eat and drink, let alone ask questions about the situation of my world. For many weeks I lived in a strict routine of waking up, eating crickets, drinking mud, and resting in the sinking bed that was ever-present in the center of the garden. This animalistic lifestyle would vanish shortly after the 2nd dayweek of the New Time. In the day 48 after my first blink, I found a notebook that contained several sketches depicting a simple, yet elegant, face of an astoundingly beautiful woman. In the pencil slashes that permeated the pages of the drawing pads, the woman was always in the company of a man that vaguely resembled my distorted reflection in the local pond, located 23.4 meters from the bed, approximately 24 degrees in direction from the pillow, clockwise to itself. Upon the finishing of my appraisal of such delightful drawings, I remembered clearly that I had been with you, touching you, kissing you, praising you. After the epiphany, I left the garden to explore the Outer Realm. From that moment onward, I was determined in completing the task of finding my memories that would link me to you.

Needless to say the task was daunting, and the places that knew of the artifacts that contained the essence of my gnosis were few, strange, and scarce. Some were trapped inside the workings of a gnome made completely of clockwork that was in dire need of repair, while others I found simply dancing with the autumn leaves in a forest that once existed but is now long gone. But by far the strangest was found resting in the ears of an elephant that lived happily in the imagination of an old dame that died two hundred and seventy five days ago.

I do not regret my journey, though it was harsh, challenging, and sometimes with unexpectedly cruel rewards. As you may know, our memories together are not all made of dreams come true, love, and fantasy. Some contain dark feelings of hatred and disappointment. Experiencing some of these was like dying a second time. I writhed in pain upon touching the source of their essence and would sometimes cry for days after reliving our most vicious fights. However, as I stated earlier, now that I am done, I think that the effort was well spent and the reward by far surpasses the sacrificed that had to be made.

Having completed my task, I sat down, if just for a moment, to contemplate the Great Blue Sea. I must tell you that it was almost as beautiful as you will be, having the threads of sun dancing, and giggling, and setting all kinds of little shops that sell candy and enlightenment. The sunset came to an end and I stood up to continue my journey. My suit was elegant, my mind was sharp, and my eyes could pierce through the veil of the world as easily as they had been able to convince you to scream and shout and sing with me. Love was tiring and lovely. It was a summer’s breeze, a drop of honey that refreshes the inner workings, that constantly pushed me towards the boundary. The rim of the World was near, and I could sense it’s gentle waves resonate with my fingertips.

The NeXT step was not clear to me at the moment, but only the notion of one day finding you, resting on the shoulders of some Tree of Peaches.

(call/cc to-the-outer-realm)

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